apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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