I'm jealous of your bromance
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
