That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize