On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
