Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
