Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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