worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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