OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
