Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
