they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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