you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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