I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
