I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
