He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
