i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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