if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
