Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
