There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
