The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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