I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
"it" just moved
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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