She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
