I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
