My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
