Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
