I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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