Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
