The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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