i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
