omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
