dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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