So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize