Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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