you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
