Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
