first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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