maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
