I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
