I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
