Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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