Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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