You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
