sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
