sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
