Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
