oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
