he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
