I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
