just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
