Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What drink are we having for lunch?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize