Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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