Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
