actually, I'm a sock model
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
