The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
