I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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