How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
