i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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