It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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