Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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