Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
