I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
