my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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