I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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