??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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