i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
